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23 July 2006 @ 12:48 pm
people who see my art almost instantly know that i was abused as a child because most of my art has to do with childhood memories, the exorsizing of ghosts, skeletons in my closet...
one of my peices is brown like my mothers coffee, there is a belt sewn to it with red thread, the red thread that haunts me for some unknown reason, the red thread that is a part of everything, and i have never known why.
on the belt i have scrathed in a cross. at the bottom lefrt corner are my mothers words, "you are just a child", the words that meant "you are nothing, you mean nothing to me."
another peice is green, my favorite color of green, and there is a bird cut out of a map that details Tampa, Florida, the city where i was born. small and quiet, in the upper right corner, in ink, it says " she dragged me by my hair, she locked me out. she loved me" in the bottom left corner, it says "she will never know. she will never know, But You Will.
another peice is red and brown. faded over a cream color. in the upper right corner there is a simple house scratched into the paint. a square with a triangle on top. two square windows and a rectangle for the door. on the door, i scratched into the paint, a large and angry cross. in the lower lefthand corner, it says "Children should be seen and not heard."
something that puzzles me when people see my art and ask me if i was abused as a child, is that when i say "yes", sometimes they say "i kind of had a feeling you had been."
how do they know? i think i am strong, that i hide it well until it comes out in my art. but i am wrong. my abuse shows itself, manifests itself in ways i am not even aware of. and this scares me. what can i ever do to make it stop?

otterphoenixotterphoenix on July 23rd, 2006 08:23 pm (UTC)
Maybe it means folk can relate to it.You connect to people through your art and thats a rare gift hon:)
If it bothers you that much there is help you can get but maybe your art helps you.It's nothing to be ashamed of.Lots of folk do art therapy as a way of sorting things out and for you ,you connect with folk too:)It's only a negative thing if it makes you feel bad and then maybe theres stuff to sort out.Just my thoughts hon.Hang in there *hugs* Thinking of you
overtheviewovertheview on July 26th, 2006 10:03 pm (UTC)
I agree and I think your art sounds amazing. If this is a way of expressing yourself then I think it is positive thing. I've always written poetry to express myself and sometimes it to can be really raw. I think you should be proud of the things you can do, being able to create stuff like that means you have a real talent. If people can look at your art work and feel real emotion from it then isn't that something amazing you've created. I think you should be proud of yourself. I hope you can embrace what your doing, you may actaully be impowering people who have been through this type of stuff.